


Dungeons and Dipshits

by KaworuMakino



Series: Eiji Thirst Week 2020 [2]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:46:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25861543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaworuMakino/pseuds/KaworuMakino
Summary: Day 2 - roleplay. The Banana Fish boys all sit around a table and play some D&D. Some players are more skilled than others. Not to mention, some are more flirtatious as well.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Bones/Kong (Banana Fish), Ibe Shunichi/Max Lobo
Series: Eiji Thirst Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876594
Comments: 4
Kudos: 81
Collections: Eiji Thirst Week 2020





	Dungeons and Dipshits

"Hear ye, hear ye, oh weary but strong band of travelers!" Max proclaimed enthusiastically. "You may all hail from different villages but thanks to the cruel might of the emerald dragon you now find yourselves with a common goal: to track down the flaming fiend's nest deep within the mountains and slay him. Before you do so, however, it would be wise to become acquainted with your new teammates. Why don't you all introduce yourselves?"

The other half dozen men sitting around the table in Ash and Eiji's living room all blinked, temporarily stunned to silence by the sheer volume of Max's dungeon master voice. 

"Um...what, honey?" Ibe asked sheepishly. 

"Just introduce yourself and tell us what kind of character you settled on, sweetie," Max said. 

"Oh! Yes honey," Ibe said, looking down at his stat sheet nervously before clearing his throat and putting on his own overdone affectation. "I am Shunichi the sorcerer! Tremble before my magical prowess!"

Ash chortled but immediately brought his hand to his mouth, trying not to be too loud. Eiji gently shushed him before jumping in next:

"I am the dark mage Okumura! My sorcery is beyond compare!"

The rest of the group proceeded to introduce themselves, or rather their fantasy selves, in voices that ranged from well-rehearsed to mumbles. 

"I'm, ah, Alex the rogue. Never met a door I couldn't unlock."

"I'm Kong the ranger. No arrow shot from my bow ever misses its target."

"I'm Bones. I, ah...I'm a brawler! I'll pound ya!"

"They call me Aslan the cleric. You all need not worry mid-battle; I'll always be there to heal you. And when it comes to swinging a blade myself, I'm just as skilled."

Max gave Ash considerable side-eye. His delivery had been the most polished in the group, but there was something aggravating about that slight twist of a smirk at the edge of his mouth. 

"Ahem!" Max said, interrupting no one save his own thoughts. "And I am the almighty voice of God, your dungeon master! I shall be your guide on this journey. Currently, the six of you stand in the middle of a small town market that's hustling and bustling with shoppers and traders. To the right you see a merchant with what appear to be bottled potions. Up ahead you also see a rather voluptuous woman looking in your general direction who averts her gaze as soon as you look back at her. There is a rosy hue to her cheeks. Lastly, there is a combination inn and tavern a ways off to your left. What will each of you do first?"

"I'm gonna buy some potions," Ibe said. 

"The merchant has healing potions for 20 potch and power potions for 15 potch, as well as miscellaneous other goods including spare arrows and boots," Max narrated. 

"Two healing potions. That should bring me down to...50 potch," Ibe said. 

"Aye. The life of the adventurer is often a destitute one," Max commented. "And what of the dark mage Okumura? Dost the buxom woman over yonder catch your eye?"

"I spend my turn ogling Aslan the cleric," Eiji said. 

Max just stared incredulously. Ash's slight smirk increased by a hair. Max swore that poker face was infuriating. 

"I'll, uh...I'll buy some new boots. My starting ones aren't very good," Alex said. 

"A wise choice. You have a long road ahead of you," Max said. "And what of Kong and Bones?"

"I walk over to the merchant and buy five spare arrows. That brings my total to...twenty arrows."

"I, ah...I follow Kong and ah...just keep a lookout! You can never be too careful."

"Aye," Max said. "And what of our resident cleric?"

"I carry the dark mage Okumura over my shoulder and check us in to a private room at the inn."

"No you do not!" Max screamed.

* * *

About an hour later Max had managed to corral the motley group of D&D noobs along something vaguely resembling his intended plot. 

"You have reached the the peak of the mountains!" He boasted loudly. "Good work, adventurers! But still your journey is not over. The air is dense, and the fog denser still. It has become difficult to breathe and even more difficult to see. Be careful not to stray too far from one another or you may never meet again. Not to mention, there's still the emerald dragon. Given the faint sound of wings you heard during your ascent, it may very well be home..."

"I cast an air magic spell to make it easier for us to breathe," Ibe said. 

"Aye. Roll a twenty-sided die," Max said. 

The dice landed on 12. 

"Not bad. The atmosphere has indeed become easier to breathe, but only within ten feet of the spell's epicenter. Namely, Shunichi the sorcerer," Max explained. 

"Stay close everyone," Kong said. 

"I'm not afraid!" Bones exclaimed. "I'm charging forward!"

"Alright," Max said. "Once you've run about twenty feet forward into the mist you get stopped in your tracks. You slam face first into something large and green, though even those details are difficult to discern in the fog."

"I follow after him cautiously, staying just close enough to the main party to still be able to breathe normally," Ash said. 

The rest of the players all moved far enough forward to see Bones's shadow in the distance, along with the shadow of something far larger. Eiji's character began chanting to boost his magical power.

"The next thing you know you smell a hint of something burning above you," Max said. "Bones, roll a twenty."

The die only landed on 5. 

"Oh no! The heat you felt was from the dragon's fire breath shooting down at you. You dodged just enough to survive, but your right arm has been incinerated from the shoulder outward."

"Fuck!" Bones blurted out.

"I aim my bow approximately twenty feet above Bones," Kong said. "I'll shoot the maximum three arrows that I can in one turn."

"Roll a twenty for each arrow."

Kong got a 19, an 18, and a 4.

"Great shots! Your first two arrows lodge themselves deeply into the dragon's neck just beneath its jaw," Max said. "It starts flailing around erratically. The frantic movements and force of its body dispel some of the mist, making it easier to see. Unfortunately, your last arrow bounced off the dragon's scales and lodged itself into Bones's knee."

"Why am I so bad at this?!" Bones yelled. "It wasn't even my turn!"

"I'll heal you," Ash said. "Or at least mitigate the pain. I cast a medium level healing spell."

"Aye, there's no saving the lost limb but you have given Bones the strength to back up out of the way of the dragon's pained stomping," Max said. 

"I cast ice spears aimed at the dragon's mouth," Ibe said, grabbing the dice and rolling a 16. 

"Success! You've frozen the vile creature's jaw!" Max exclaimed. "The battle's not over yet, however."

"I cast lightning bolt," Eiji said. "Combined with my power boost from chanting, I can add a +6 to my roll."

The roll in question was a 20. 

"My god! Thunder strikes from the sky above with enough force to split the flailing dragon in two! Everyone, roll a twenty!" Max instructed. 

Ibe rolled an 18, Bones rolled a 2, and the rest rolled between 9 and 15. 

"Ibe manages to completely avoid the downpour of blood from the dragon's death explosion. Alex, Ash, Eiji, and Kong all get splattered with blood but are unharmed except for their pride. Bones gets crushed under one half of the dragon's body as its bloodied remains fall to the ground," Max said. 

"What the fuck?!" Bones screamed. "Boss! What did you do to my dice?!"

Everyone else laughed. Bones pouted, but Kong rubbed his shoulder and gave him a comforting smile. 

"Your adventure has reached its climax!" Max exclaimed. "Do the remaining party members have any final words or actions before their time together is adjourned?" 

"I cast gravity magic to lift the dragon up enough for us to retrieve Bones's body and give him a proper burial," Ibe said. 

"I carry Eiji over my shoulder and take us back to our private room at the inn," Ash said. 

"No you do not!" Max growled while the rest of the group laughed. 

"Oh yeah?" Ash lifted an eyebrow before standing up off the floor and lifting Eiji into his arms. 

"Ash!" Eiji squeaked. 

"Come on Eiji, let's show him!" 

Ash carried his fiance to their bedroom and shut the door behind them. Awestruck, Max and the others heard faint laughter followed by...squeaks and moans?

"Well, Max and I should probably get going for the night," Ibe said. "Good game, everyone."

"See you at the wedding," Alex said as the older couple packed up and left. The noises from Ash and Eiji's room kept getting louder, and the three gang members in the living room turned on some Netflix at full volume to try and drown it out.

**Author's Note:**

> Roleplaying was one of the most open-ended prompts and I debated what sort of scenario Ash and Eiji would be getting smutty to...before I got the idea for them and friends to sit around and play some D&D. Tomorrow's prompt will be the first where I really dive into the "thirst" part of the week.


End file.
